Yesterday my mom suggested to have some ravioli for lunch and i felt comfortable enough to say yes.
Back when i was sick, like the majority of anorexics do, i was absolutely terrified of pasta. I couldn't even be near someone having pasta without my anxiety levels skyrocketing, like the mere act of being next to it was gonna make me gain weight. And it's not the first time i eat pasta since starting recovery, but i can say it was the first time i felt comfortable enough with it.
I feel i reached another level in recovery, where i can eat fear foods without feeling guilty, knowing my body needs a balanced diet and that having those foods are not gonna make me gain further weight than my body needs to.
Now i'm aware that it's very hard to maintain an unhealthy weight for my body without damaging it and i'm done with that. I want to take care of my body because i want HEALTH. I love being able to do things i couldn't even think of when being sick. And don't get me wrong it's not something easy to achieve, i don't wanna make it seem like milk and roses. But i can assure all the pain and discomfort i went through this last 7 months of recovery were damn worth it. You just have to push through the pain blindfolded, being confident that the other end of the path is a beautiful one. Great things await for you. Never ever underestimate the power of recovering fron your eating disorder. You can do it i swear! :)
Love u all very very much
GRETA FOX
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