TW: I had the burger

Yesterday i had such a great time. I woke up in a good mood even though on sunday i had the shittiest day, had a major angst crisis thinking to myself: i'm huuuge and feel like a whale. This whole episode happened because i've recently gained a lot of weight and i'm all bloated and stuff, so it's been really hard for me to get used to this new body dimension.

Buuuut, on monday my mum went with me to treatment (i always go alone, from monday to friday), and the sun was so bright and it was really hot so my mood got sooo much better. And as i had a free hour between seeing the psychiatrist and my therapist my mum suggested to go to mc donalds. So i got really excited cause it had been over a year since i didnt go. Clearly mc donalds is a major no no for someone suffering from anorexia, but i could control my anxiety and had a big mac! Though i couldnt finish my fries because i was already full. I really enjoyed it :)

It was a big test for me and feel so proud of myself, like, i feel i moved one step forward. I think i'm slowly starting to embrace this new body, a normal body! and not idealizing the 37 kg body i had. Even though my ED thoughts are still present, but not as loud as they used to be.

Hope it stays this way....

                                                      Love ❤
                                                     GRETA